The Gnome part deux

Norman showed up a week ago.

Actually, Norman (that's his name by the way) was left on my doorstep a week ago. All cute and wrapped up with a little note, like a baby left in a basket. That's how I know his name is Norman, it was in the note.

Norman was left by a merry prankster, or should I say a Mary-prankster who was aware of my bad experience with Travelocity. How she got a hold of him I still don't know, but she only takes in stray dogs. It seems stray gnomes aren't part of the deal and since Norman has a grudge against Travelocity as well, she thought he might be good company for me.

Now talking with Norman is a bit like talking with....well, with a Mexican landscaper. I'm pretty sure he understands everything I'm saying, but I have a hard time understanding what he's saying. He starts speaking gnomish and it sounds like gibberish. But as best as I can gather Norman's story goes something like this;

It seems the "Roaming Gnome" that we all recognize as the face of Travelocitys commercials, (who's name by the way is Roman) actually has a stunt double, or did, who's name is Norman. And as is typical in Hollywoodland, ego's sooner or later get in the way. Norman, grew jealous of Roman's increasing fame for doing as he put it "nothing but standing around and looking pretty!"

When Roman says the line that "American appliances won't work in Europe" it's Norman that gets blown across the room.

More and more Norman's failure to be recognized as the real talent of the Travelocity commercials, lead him down a deeper and darker path of despair and drink, until one day he finally had enough and walked away from it all. That's why you haven't seen any new Travelocity commercials lately. They haven't been able to find a replacement - or so says Norman.

Last weekend I came home to find Norman had eaten the last piece of pizza and drank all of my beer and the last half bottle of wine, then passed out on the kitchen floor. Where does he put it all? I'm not sure what to do with the little drunk.....