Annual Dr's Checkup

So yesterday was my annual checkup. I always do it the day before Valentines Day. It makes it easy to remember when it is for one, and while I may not get chocholates or flowers today, yesterday I got something, something I will spend the next 6 months trying to forget. The conversation went something like this -

"Dr, what's up with the medical world?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, they have this drug Caduet that you take to help prevent heart attacks, then if you stop taking it, a side effect is a heart attack! Brilliant! How does that sort of thing get approved?"

(eyes closed, fingers already massaging temples) "How is your health?"

"Oh, not good! I've got this problem sleeping. I keep waking up at night to pee, often, like 4 or 5 times. I think I have BHP. Maybe I need some Flomax?"

"It's BPH and you're fine, I just checked...I suggest you stop drinking fluids after 5 pm, especially 7 or 8 beers...."

"Ok, well I have another problem. My bowel movements have been really loose. I think I have some sort of a.....a rectal dysfunction. I think I might need some Levitra?"

(massaging temples more vigorously now) "YOU DON'T NEED LEVITRA. LEVITRA IS FOR ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION. E-REC-TILE. NOT A RECTAL DYSFUNCTION. AGAIN I SUGGEST YOU STOP DRINK BEER AT NIGHT. GIVE UP THE 4 CUPS OF COFFEE YOU HAVE EVERY MORNING AND EAT MORE FIBER. YOU'LL BE FINE!"

"Dr, I...."

(interrupting) "Chuck, you're in perfect health. However, I would like to refer you to a Dr. down that hall and have him examine you. His name is Dr Freud."