Psycho

I'm a little freaked out at the moment and can't sleep.

I heard shuffling out in the kitchen and got up to see what was going on, only to find Norman coming down the hall....

Obviously his last name is Bates!

He's got to go.

Homeless

What is it that generally makes the average person shy away from a homeless person?

In fact, not even shy away, but usually have anger even if it's not expressed towards a homeless person?

Why feel anger towards someone you don't know? Towards someone who could probably use your help?


Well I know why.





IT'S BECAUSE IT'S 7 AM IN THE MORNING AND I'M TRYING TO RELAX BEFORE WORK AND ENJOY MY COFFEE AND READ THE PAPER, NOT HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOU ACROSS THE ROOM YOU CRAZY LADY IN A REDSKINS WOOL CAP WHEN IT'S GOING TO BE 90 DEGREES OUTSIDE! I'M NOT EVEN PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO YOU! NOW GET BACK OUT ON THE STREET AND LEAVE ME ALONE!




Oh, before you go....how do you like my bench?

New picture

Recently seen hanging on the walls of my Lincoln & Lincoln apartment.

Goodbye leather tool belt

This is old news, but worth reporting and since I'm not working this morning (it's raining at the moment) and the blog is about something related to work, I figured it's about time I write it.

You see, two weeks ago I bought my second tool belt. Now you have to realize this is my second tool belt in my entire life. The first one lasted twenty years and was still going strong! It only needed a new hammer holder.

I was a bit worried to be honest about making the switch after all, I could grab and put back any tool in my belt with my eyes closed, like a soldier disassembling his M16. It was comfortable like an old pair of sneakers. Actually it wasn't very comfortable, just like old sneakers aren't really comfortable, but still, it was familiar.

Still, change is inevitable and it was time for an upgrade. Now I'm wearing the Construction Master 1100! (see below)

Nobody is wearing the CM1100 but MoC. I'm on the cutting edge. It's a prototype. Yeah sure, lots of carpenters have the CM700 or CM800 series. Some newbies have the CM900 or maybe, just maybe the CM1000. And a few old carpenters who finally give into change like myself might upgrade and therefore have a newer model like the CM1000.

But only MoC has the CM1100....

MoC in action with the CM1100. What you'll notice most about this picture is the CM1100 rides on the sides of my hips, where as old leather rode on the front of my thighs. Also, the tape holder is now in the back and the buckle in the front, where as it used to be the tape was in the front and the buckle in the back.

Not that might not seem like a big deal until you go to reach for your tape measure and unbuckle you tool belt, which proceeds to drop to the ground, leaving you open to ridicule from the other carpenters...

7 Stones Bench

Free coffee for the rest of the year!

That's right, a major score by MoC, if I may say so myself.

Two weekends ago at this point, I opened up the "driveway woodshop" again and built the below bench for my friends at 7 Stones. The pictures don't do it justice I'm afraid, and I can't take credit for the painting on the backrest, only for being smart enough to ask Natalie to do it for me.

But I'm happy with the way it came out. Stop in and check it out one of these days.

The Gnome part deux

Norman showed up a week ago.

Actually, Norman (that's his name by the way) was left on my doorstep a week ago. All cute and wrapped up with a little note, like a baby left in a basket. That's how I know his name is Norman, it was in the note.

Norman was left by a merry prankster, or should I say a Mary-prankster who was aware of my bad experience with Travelocity. How she got a hold of him I still don't know, but she only takes in stray dogs. It seems stray gnomes aren't part of the deal and since Norman has a grudge against Travelocity as well, she thought he might be good company for me.

Now talking with Norman is a bit like talking with....well, with a Mexican landscaper. I'm pretty sure he understands everything I'm saying, but I have a hard time understanding what he's saying. He starts speaking gnomish and it sounds like gibberish. But as best as I can gather Norman's story goes something like this;

It seems the "Roaming Gnome" that we all recognize as the face of Travelocitys commercials, (who's name by the way is Roman) actually has a stunt double, or did, who's name is Norman. And as is typical in Hollywoodland, ego's sooner or later get in the way. Norman, grew jealous of Roman's increasing fame for doing as he put it "nothing but standing around and looking pretty!"

When Roman says the line that "American appliances won't work in Europe" it's Norman that gets blown across the room.

More and more Norman's failure to be recognized as the real talent of the Travelocity commercials, lead him down a deeper and darker path of despair and drink, until one day he finally had enough and walked away from it all. That's why you haven't seen any new Travelocity commercials lately. They haven't been able to find a replacement - or so says Norman.

Last weekend I came home to find Norman had eaten the last piece of pizza and drank all of my beer and the last half bottle of wine, then passed out on the kitchen floor. Where does he put it all? I'm not sure what to do with the little drunk.....

Roamin' - the back story

So it was right about this time two weeks ago I was on my way over to Flash's house for our two day getaway to Kentucky. We had planned the trip about three weeks prior using Travelocity to book everything - flight, hotel and rental car.

We get to the airport and start to look for our 8:10 am flight, but can't find it on the board anywhere? Seems strange. We stop at the USAir counter and they tell us gate B6 so we head on back. We get to gate B6 and the sign on the wall says San Francisco. A nice place no doubt, but not where we were planning on going. We ask the guy at the counter what's going on and he proceeds to tell us we are a bit early for our flight, which doesn't depart until 8:10 PM.


And we thought we were late.


We look at each other dumb-founded wondering how this could have happened? After all, Flash had his best guy at the computer booking the tickets. A guy known as I.T. in some circles - me!

Luckily, we were able to get re-ticketed on another flight which got us into Kentucky only 2 hours later than we would have originally, but the mystery of this mix up would bother me for the whole weekend. (and the next 2 weeks!)

We picked up the car at Hertz (OJ was nowhere to be found) and headed on our way. Flash hadn't been back to Bolling Green for 10 years and the main drag was a bit more developed than when he was last there. There were hotels everywhere, all though having spent two days in BG, I can't imagine what they need so many of them for?

If you can name a hotel I bet it was on the strip. If you can't name a hotel, chances are it was the one we booked through Travelocity. We picked what looked to be a decent hotel known as America's Best Value Inn. It had a pool. When we finally found it, it looked deserted. There were only three cars in the lot and it was obvious it was recently bought because the black paint over the "Super 8" sign wasn't doing it's job.

We drove around back to find the "pool" which looked more like a horse trough and both came to the mutual conclusion that we weren't staying there. I think we had thoughts of the Bates Motel running thru our heads.

Luckily for us Tom Bodet left the light on right down the street, another disaster averted. Once we checked in to the Motel 6, I called Travelocity to tell them we were cancelling our reservation at the Bates Best Value Inn. 48 minutes on the phone on and off of hold. That's right 48! As if I didn't have better things to do.

So in an effort to shorten this story up a bit - the rest of the trip in Kentucky was fine. I'm convinced Travelocity's computers screwed up our reservation and I base this on the fact that upon my arrival home I tried to book the same exact vacation, only with the 8:10pm flight we were on, and I couldn't find it anywhere on Travelocity's website.

And all this brings me to my current dislike of the Roaming Gnome. No make that hatred. As strong word yes, but one that is accurate.

Which in turn brings me to the story of how that little bastard came to be eating my pizza.

But that's a blog for another day.......

Attack of the Gnome

You were right Pecker - I went to get some leftovers only to find the following:

Little bastard!

Summer Solstice 07

Well, I couldn't get any virgins to respond to the "wanted" ads I posted in 5 major city papers, so instead I devoured a large Apollo pizza and a beer in honor of the first day of summer.





I think I made the right choice.



Tune in tomorrow when I offer up the back story of my adventures with Travelocity and the evil little gnome....

Roamin' with the Gnome...

Caught in the act!



I'm convinced gremlins messed up (almost) my trip to Kentucky two weekends ago. But I see it was none other than Travelocitys roaming gnome himself who tried to sabotage our reservations!

See for yourself -

cocobolo

My table has finally arrived, it was dropped off by Pedro last week. I spent the weekend in a fung shui meditation state to come up with how to properly display it in my little den of iniquity...

For those of you who may never have the privilage of actually seeing it in person here it is.




Of course, I must give credit to the master craftsman who makes Norm look like a chump in the woodshop!